Child Abuse Awareness

A friend of mine posted these facts about child abuse in an effort to raise more attention to child abuse, when so many "friends" on facebook are doing so by changing their profile pictures with the same idea/purpose in mind.

I wanted to post what he wrote, but I didn't want to clog up your news feed :). Here's what he said...please read carefully.

Changing pictures to cartoons to raise awareness of child abuse is fun and supportive, but it doesn't actually give people anything they can use to actually raise awareness or deal with the problem. I propose that if we are going to raise awareness, let's actually raise awareness.

I am proposing, and starting, something more. Let's raise awareness by posting facts. What is child abuse? What are its risk factors? How can we help? That is just as easily done and, in my opinion, much more useful. The fact is, most people do what is convenient. So, in campaigns like this, we must make gaining knowledge and learning about options as convenient as possible. I am going to put my money where my mouth is and practice what I am preaching here, and I encourage other people to do likewise.

Raising awareness of child abuse fact #1: most children (about 80%) are abused by someone in their family. The risk of child abuse is 33 times higher (that's 330%) when the child's mother is cohabiting with a boyfriend than if the parents are a traditional married couple. The risk of abuse from a remarriage is also elevated above the risks in a situation where the child's biological parents are married.

Raising awareness of child abuse fact #2: restraining orders are pretty much useless against people abusing children, because there are no consequences for breaking them. Protective orders are another story, because if the abuser violates them (even by attempting contact with the person he/she abused through a third party), he/she will be arrested.

Raising awareness of child abuse fact #3- more on protective orders: Police often do not tell people that protective orders are a possiblity
(and they are actually not that hard to get), so just because they tell
you there is nothing they can do when you try to report abuse, that does
not mean there is nothing that can... be done. Talk to a shelter, victim's advocate, or child protective services.

Raising awareness of child abuse fact #4: a large portion of the people who abuse children are the type you would never think would do it: smart, charming, and well-loved by those around them. So very often, people seeking help for abuse are shot down and lost without help because of the skill these people who abuse have in managing image.

Raising awareness of child abuse fact #5: according to some of the most empirically sound data we have now (as opposed to a lot of junk data out there), only between 2%-10% of allegations of abuse turn out to be verifiably false. If someone comes to you to dislose abuse, take them seriously! The last thing they need to... run into is a wall of doubt. That tends to push people back into escalating cycles of abuse.

Raising awareness of child abuse fact #6: one of the most dangerous times for abused spouses and children is the time period right after they have attempted to leave a person who is abusing. This is especially true if they get cold feet and return. There is a high incidence of injuries and deaths at this time without sufficient support.

Raising awareness of child abuse fact #7: because of developmental issues, many children who are abused will have a hard time expressing it verbally, and when they do they will often have a difficult time expressing a chronology or details. In many ways, they will often say it with their actions long before they find a way to say it with words.

Raising awareness of child abuse fact #8: Nonverbal signs of child abuse may include sudden changes in affect or school performance, displaying a sense of intense watchfulness/wariness of danger, being overly compliant or passive, regression (acting younger than their age), anger, depression, and acting out, among others.

Raising awareness of child abuse fact #9: Abuse is often about power and control. People who abuse children are often very good at making the child and/or the non-abusing parent feel like they are responsible for the abuse. This psychological conditioning is part of what makes it hard for both children and adults to report and escape abuse.